I am at the end of my book

Saw the doc yesterday and that was basically told to me.  The treatments that are open to me I have either failed or I am not eligible.  I haven't given up nor do I think this doc is wrong.  She is in the camp of quality of life.  Good camp.

I had a blood transfusion yesterday.... Those aren't nice but it should make me feel better.  More later...I am doing on tablet and Deanna just woke up.

Sitting in front of the compter- baby steps

Ok- this one was much harder than it should have been.  I have been home, not doing much.  For the most part my day consisted of going from the couch to going to bed to going to the couch, etc.  I was just trying to find a place to get comfortable.  This occurred after the radiation.

I was on a schedule of meds after New Years Day to help with the pain in the hip. During "post radiation" days corresponding to  Deanna's day offs, I had a couple of instances where the pain was just so intense, or I just had a hard time getting out of a chair.  Deanna contacted the doc, and now I am on an extended release Morphine.  This seems to be doing what it needs to be doing, sleeping better and rarely I have pain that the meds aren't helping with.  That got old really quick.   That's the importance of help.  If anyone thinks they can do this alone, they cant.  Because of Deanna we got the stronger meds, and my days are better.

The doc is tomorrow, and this could go in 100 different directions.  I am grateful that she is so free with her appointments.  This appointment is 1 week earlier than originally scheduled.  This one we will discuss further treatment plans, I am sure review my pain management stuff, and other things. 

So what are baby steps.  Standing up and sitting in front of the computer for a little while.  Kind of different than my recliner.  I am going to try to get out today, the more I do the more I will be able to do.  But I cant think for a minute that I can start over going 100 miles an hour.  The radiation side effects this time really got me.  But hopefully this week will be a nice steady recovery. 

Hopefully I can get back to living my life again quickly.  Thanks to all who have been keeping up with this.

Something is up

I am on my couch with my tablet.  So this won't be long but overdue.  Radiation has been complete for a while and everything should be pointed up. Recent pain not taken care of with the normal pills had us make a decision. Time for Morphine.  Something to get used to.

Lots more to upstate, but I know sometimes no news is not a good thing.  I am just glad the pain went away.

Still doing the radiation recovery thing

I am presently on my couch banging away at the tablet.

I am back on Xerox disability which is disappointing.  Due to my hips...the messed up walking, and the radiation recovery it was impossible to give them what they needed.  Hopefully things stabilize and I can get back at it.  I anticipate this happening.

Presently I am on the max pain killers....hopefully I can start reducing some next week.  This all was from the hip pain and the treatment that followed.

At 230 yesterday life seemed good but I made a comment to my brother maybe I should go upstairs and lie down.  I tried to increase my activity level the last couple days and walk VERY short distances, we are talking 100 steps.  Well, that may have caught up with me.  I need to let my body heal from the radiation.  Not doing much of anything today.

I don't advocate taking more medication than you should, I added a small dose of painkiller to the normal yesterday.  This I did at 8pm and boy,  it took everything away, I slept wonderful feeling decent today.  I felt naughty but wow did that work.  OK.  I just documented my secret, hopefully not needed again.

Enjoy the week ahead.  Hopefully a week from now I can post some good stuff.

Very quick update

Radiation was finished Friday.  10 sessions in 1 day.  What a treat.  The first couple of days, oh my!!!!  That's what they have pain pills for and that's why I have help here.  Things that used to be pain arent anymore.  I am walking better, if you consider 5 days ago I wasnt really walking at all.  I am sitting in a chair now, not updating this from the tablet.  I know every day that goes by gets better.  And the same is happening for me.  Told you- quick post.

Hello Americans, you know what the news is, now the rest of the story

In the Ebert house we start each day with Citrical.  C for citrus cal for calcium.  Citrical.   Page 2.

As we visited the doc yesterday, included in that joy were 6 Xrays and blood work, we ventured to the unknown.  We had no idea how the day would go.  I was scheduled for chemo.  My walking due to my hip proved "exciting".  Did I need a wheel chair to get around?  How best to control the pain.  Can I get a drug to calm be down when things get a little much.  And what do I do with work with this stuff going on.  And now the rest of the story.

The recommendation was to get radiation in the hip.  And while I was at it they were going to zap the left shoulder.  On one hand I am thinking good, the pain is gone.  My walking will be back to normal.  On the other hand the time spent with all of this was about a month.  Get an appointment with the doc, participate in the planning, 1 round of xrays and 10 sessions of getting zapped.  A ton of effort but worth it.  

Well I know people are praying for me.  So try this on for size.....I got a same day appt with the doc.  They did the planning that Day. I get treated Friday just one big zap instead of 10 smaller ones and I should begin to walk normal shortly after, pain free.

I was able to pick up a prescription for Xanax.  That will help.....I have had anxiety.  And to refer to my previous post, Deanna was with me all day Monday.  Tiffany let her take the day.  Brother Jim has Friday.  The support has been awesome.

And now you know the rest of the story.

Time to talk about brother Jim

When you are trying to a cancer patient you will be asked to do some really strange thing. Such as helping your brother remove his pants.   Also being his constant golpfer without complaining.  The key for someone in my condition if you are going to help,  don't complain in front of the person.....maybe step outside and go to the car and scream.  But there is nothing more stressful then asking for something and getting push back. Brother Jim has done the following for us since October:

• Stepped in to become our dog walker.  October it allowed Deanna to stay with me in the hospital.  Later on it gave her a brake during some long days at Tiffany.
• Getting me everything.... Yes everything.  Could you bring my blanket and a pillow from upstairs, a glass of water, lunch, clothes, etc.  I ask and he has no problem.
• Taking me to many appointments.
• 2 days ago helping me walk to go to the bathroom.
• When I was out of pain meds driving to Loyola and picking up a prescription to get it filled.  This is due to Illinois law, the doc can't call it in.
• He even started to do dishes.  
• Going shopping for us so we have food in the house.  Deanna has gone through retail hell at work and recently my walking is funny.

The support given to me is tremendous.  Here is an analogy.  Deanna is my security blanket.  I couldn't do it without her.  Brother Jim is the blanket to make sure my toes don't get cold.

The beautiful thing is I can ask plenty of people for help.  It stinks to need it and I am very greatful the help is there.

Hips don't lie...they hurt.

This is from my tablet...now sitting up in a chair is funny.  The beginning of this had me with cancer in both hips.  It wasn't giving me a problem, didn't feel anything but an occasional tweak on the left.  I guess there was a lot of disease in there so the decision was to radiate.  The right was fine at the time.  Well times up on the right one has pain to the point its hard to walk or sit upright in a chair for long.

On New Years Eve I did some walking....but not far.  All told about a mile over 6 hours.  We had fun.  The Mb financial park in Rosemont was a blast.  I walked slow but had no pain.  Thank you Advil.  But when we came back to the hotel I had a tough time getting the pain to stop.  2 days later I am out of pain sitting still....but walking has its tough parts and hopefully some bed rest improves things.

That's the update.  I have been struggling....hopefully tomorrow is better than today.