New chemo notes

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with my family.  My sister in-law is such a special person.  They flew in and because of her and her efforts it was extremely memorable.

Chemo was Tue night, and I had to go back on Wednesday for an injection to stimulate the bone marrow.  What that did was to make my bones hurt where the cancer is.  Ouch...that lasted until today.  Today I feel like I am hungover.  Tired and not wanting to do anything.  I am watching the movie Nebraska with Deanna with dog Samantha laying on my leg.

I will try to keep this updated regularly.  If there isn't a post for a while I am not feeling great.  Thanks to all who read this.  Here's hoping for a healthy December.

Updates on all accounts

Happy Thanksgiving to all.

As we left my journey it was Monday night and I was still in quite a bit of pain, full dose of pain killers, last dose at 11pm.  What was happening- they don't quite last the 6 hours so I expected I would be up in bed at 4am- with something in my body angry at me, having to watch Andy Griffith to kill time to take more medicine.  I have no idea what happened, I know people are praying for me, but I woke up at 7am- and I was fine.  I got up out of bed- walked pretty normal- and that part of my latest crisis was over.  Very weird.  2 days, unable to do much and some happy bunnies saw me in the middle of the night and fixed me.  Whatever it was, I will take it.

Saw the doc on Tue, and I am now again being treated for the prostate cancer.  I have one more thing to refine, to get my calcium up.  And then I can add the bone strengthening  drug again.  That should be easy.  Long day yesterday- doc at 10:15- chemo 3pm- out at 6pm.  Then poor me, I had to go to Ditka's for dinner, with my brother and sister in law- wonderful time.  Great food. 

Day after chemo I feel fine.  I have to be grateful about that one.  Hopefully that will continue. 

Last unrelated comment.  To those venturing out on Black Friday for anything, I have to relay my experience at Wal-Mart last year. 

They were advertising a 30 inch TV for $98- guaranteed in stock for an hour.  It was from 6-7, so of course I left at 6:15.  Who wants to fight the crowds when the store opens.  I did have to park a long way- but who cares.  As I waked up there was a fire truck, 2 police cars, and an ambulance.  I just had to laugh- Happy Holidays.  I walked in the store- found the person with the coupons to buy the TV- went to the register- and I was out by 7pm.  The only catch is that you register on line for home delivery- (free), and it came 2 weeks later.  So now they are advertising a 50 inch for 225- in college I heard bigger is better, so I guess its off to Wal-Mart one more time.  I wonder how many ambulances they will have on guard this time. 

Happy Thanksgiving.

Pain * 2

Ok- now this isn't the direction I wanted to go.  I had a normal week, had lunch with a friend, started to get my mind around living life again.  I had tickets to the Bear Game on Sunday, and as late as Saturday night was making plans to go to the game. 

Good morning Sunday......damn.....well Saturday night trying to sleep.  I started to get pains at different parts of my body.  I do have some pain killers which do a great job, and after a full dose, I still felt things.  On Sunday morning I woke up, started to walk and my legs were unstable.   The stability got better, but pain still remained....  I took a walk outside and realized the Bear Game was a dream- I wouldn't be able to go. 

Finally at 12:45 I went up to bed and stayed there for most of the day.  Later on the pain was better, (with painkillers), and I was up for a couple hours last night watching some TV.  I have been on a full dose of painkillers since Sunday morning.  I see the doc tomorrow- I have plenty of appointments, so they monitor me well.  My guess today will be much better, and I can reduce the painkillers. 

So what made everything angry Saturday night.  Because if I knew what it was, I would apologize.  I don't want to make anything angry.......

Story time- and what I can do....

2nd topic first.  What the heck can I do, what am I filling my days with.  A month ago, really not much.  I was glued to the couch and asking others to get me stuff.  Every day gets better, and on Sunday I will attempt to go to the Bears game.  The radiation did enough to my leg that walking is so much better now.  My guess I will be just fine.  I am playing things cautious, but I think it will be good.  After I get home I will probably lay down, and spend Monday being not the most active one, but time to live life.

Story time..... I guess this is my reflecting on things.

Would you believe I was an underage drinker in college?  Hmmmmm.  Who would have thought? 

On a college break I was home, and with me was my good friend beer, my late brother Ted, next store neighbor Eric, and other friends.  We were outside enjoying the summer, having a few.  For some reason someone brought up offering money to run around the block naked.  I was in college, money was precious, it was probably 2am- who would see.  Maybe the total was $20- who knows. 

My brother Ted and I took off, with it all hanging out.  As we got 1/2 way around the block, brother Ted did the smart thing and hopped the fence, and went back home.  I am thinking, "Yea!!!! he didn't complete the mission, I get all the money".  As I continue on finishing the block proud as I can be, I reach my house and there was my Dad on our front porch greeting me.  I never ran so hard in my life to the back yard, we had a camper set up there, and I slept there.  My friends, nor my brother were no where to be seen.  I never received the money. 

Early that morning I snuck in the house to get clothed.  Our family had breakfast together on occasion and wouldn't you know it,  this was one of them. To his credit, all my father asked me, Timothy, did anything exciting happen last night.  He must have been a proud father at that time.

Time for the copier company- special people

I started this when I was reflecting that my life was certainly better for all the special people I have met over the years.  I started with who I met at work and what a cast of characters, including the person who I have been married to for almost 24 years.  Life is worth it because of the people in your life.  Losing someone/something hurts.  But its such a better ride through life with them in it.  From my cat Fuzz who walked from Wheaton to Elmhurst since he really didn't like Grandpa's house, to my dear Mom, who I could take to a frat party at school and not have to worry that she was entertained.  My life has been around some really special people.  Have I lost some through the years, yes.  But I wouldn't trade the time spent with them. 

The people at Xerox where do I start.  Spending over 10 years full time, I have met a crazy cast of characters.  When I was put in a position of doing more, and helping people, I was able to get to know so many more.  There are 2 Cindy's- one who understands Disney, and one who didn't hesitate to help me out on some personal matters.  I would call the "group", Pedro, Mark, Frank, Dave, Jason, (I may have forgotten someone), who put up with my bad golfing, and introduced me to the Brat Stop on a baseball trip.  There are so many people that I have been able to get to know, and appreciate knowing, this would go on for ever.  But 2 people in particular are worth mentioning.  Remarkably both were on my team when I first started.

Steve-  I was in such a good place.  I sat next to him for a couple years, and to say the least I had fun.  During conference calls I would instant message him telling him things like if he professes his love for  mostaccioli on the conference call I would buy him a Wendy's lunch.  That kind of proves no one really listens on conference calls.

Steve is a very good person and we became friends over the years.  He is the type of person who wont hesitate to do anything for you.  As a co- worker before we became friends, I had a dilemma.  I was going off my seizure medicine, so my driving would be a problem.  He volunteered to take me, changing the church service he would go to.  He did not live close to me.  What a good person.

The other person at Xerox is Tim.  We have done some things out of work.  I was able to meet his lovely wife.  But over the years, you remember the people you can count on for things.  The ride to the airport, the $20 until Tuesday, etc.  He has never shown me nothing other than friendship, showing up at the hospital recently when I was in great "distress".  He is now helping me try to "figure something out".  And what is really weird, he is now my boss over there.  That's fine.  I have no trouble separating that. 

That's enough work people.  Thankfully I am able to keep a job.  Somehow people think I am good enough to hang on to. 

Happy Land

Ok- people who have been around me have heard this term.  I even spoke about this to the management staff at Xerox.  This is where I live.  Huh?

Ok- I have prostate cancer that spread to the bone.  How is that happy.  The realization that without any family history the first test I was even scheduled for was age 50.  There is the other test that is unpleasant for guys, but not the PSA blood test.  My doc tested me for it and caught it.  Fine he caught it- a little late- but on the early end of being a little late.  If I hadn't scheduled that physical- and my doc ordered the blood test, I would have been gone a few years ago.  I had zero symptoms.

My brother got mad at a driver that wasn't paying attention.  Hmmm....we all skip paying attention once in a while, just ask Deanna how I go through my day.  I got on him- because getting upset really doesn't matter in the scheme of things.  And in Happy Land, we didn't get into in accident, and everyone was fine.

I finished radiation today.  As I left the area, there was a guy must have been 125 years old being wheeled back to get treated.  His wife was with him- and I would assume his daughter.  Ok- he has cancer, that's why we are all there.  But I left there thinking, darn the guy is lucky to live such a long life with his family by his side.  And the treatments are probably offering him the same pain relief that I have received.  Every radiation beam kills cancer cells- I would call that happy.

I have to relay a story about a flea market in LA.  A mom with kids were in the parking lot and prompted an altercation with 2 others.  Mom was a hot head, said some things, and in turn was stabbed to death by the 2 other people in front of her kids.  Whatever happened in the parking lot wasn't worth getting upset.  And then losing your life in front of your kids?  The way my mind works- I would have given the 2 the space, washed their car, bought them cookies..... 

So my address is on Craig Place in Happy Land.  It is a good place to be because the alternative really isn't worth much.

Fun at Radiation- careful- this post shows skin......

Ok- what the heck is this.  First progress- 7 out of 10 treatments are done, and I take a week off- then I am sure we start the chemo.  So Turkey and chemo- you have to love it.  I guess this one is much easier than the other one, so hopefully I agree with this.

When you get radiation they mark you up- they give you a few pin prick tattoos, and have fun with a markers.  They need to make sure where I am placed on the table to get it the most accurate.  I have stickers on, lines all over, kind of crazy.  So I thought- they can mark me up- see what Deanna can do.  So you are now seeing my belly.  Where is my belly button, the kitty tongue. 

So during radiation they found the kitty.  One nurse was so amused she ran into the other room to grab a camera.  Her comment while I was there, I need to send it to ****, see if she can guess the belly.  I guess I was the first one who actually did this. 

Also there was some music from the 1920's going, and I asked if they had any Marilyn Manson.  I think they think I am pretty odd.

Have fun.

Finishing up the cast of characters- work version

I left off at the financial planning firm- but there has been one job I have held for the last 19 years, while doing Browns, Strategic, and now Xerox.

HR Block- 1995-present- (who knows this year).  I started in one location for 2 years and drove an old guy to retire.  I asked him so many questions.  I found my home in Glendale Heights.  There has been a core group around there for years, most everyone doing it for the main reason, they want to help their clients.  If I have to step away from it this year, that's the one piece I will miss.  It really isn't about the gobs of money that come in our pay checks.  Gobs (?).  So this is my winter family- and when January comes around its like we never left.

Bill- this is one guy who whenever I think I am stepping outside the "norm" he is a good one to check with.  If there is an edge- I want to be on it- but never over it.   Call this bad career move number #39-if I followed Bills career path I would have played plenty of golf, (he has/had his PGA card), give lessons, substitute teach when I want to- and ref school sports.  Jealous- hmmmm.  YES!.  I sit in a cube looking at spreadsheets.  Bill is a great guy.

Araceli, Janice, and Linda- I will group these guys together.  Celi and Linda have been with me from the beginning, Janice was playing big shot at a HR Block special office, until that one closed.  Araceli is a nurse- but still comes back for maybe 30 years now.  I have seen her family grow up.  While only a few conversations during the year, she is a caring person.  Next is Janice.  Janice is Mom.  She is a really good tax pro- but she is Mom.  Moms bake.  In previous posts I have mentioned toll house cookies as my last meal.  Janice brings in a nice substitute.  And Linda.  Linda will know every last one of her clients, their names, kids names, their weights, when they come in to get their taxes done, and what they had for dinner last night.  The fastest thing I have ever seen one day, not a police chase, not a cheetah on Animal Planet, it was Linda leaving one night after she was done.  3 great people.

There is one I wanted to separate, Barb S.  She started about 10 years ago- (damn.... time flies), and she and I worked on Saturdays for a while.  At that time you really get to know someone.   She has given sound advice to improve my "grocery habits", green tea, etc.  For a while she really wanted to be Mom- so she didn't work much- or at all.  Shame on me- Mom's work- she didn't work at HR Block.  In her first year she had a pilot as a client, what a beautiful job she did with him.  You see the work- Barb wanted to do well.  If I don't come back, my clients would be in great hands with Barb- but one problem, shes still Mom.

There have been others at Block- too numerous to name.  But these 5 will stick with me.  And god willing, I am back doing this, I look forward to the day that I can eat Janice's cookies on a Saturday morning.  Only one job left- not bad for an older fart like me. 

Pain

I will get back to highlighting special people I have met in my life, but back to the cancer......

I am on the 4th out of 10 sessions of radiation.  This will allow things that are on the bone to get zapped, and after its complete the bone can hopefully take over again.  They are doing 3 spots, and radiation in itself isn't bad.  Below my right knee I had one spot that showed bright and shiny on the bone scan- we are zapping that.  The main reason to do this is to get my hip- so no fractures....but getting back to my knee.

I have a friend Steve who really wanted to do something nice for me.  So he picked up 2 tickets for the Bears Packers in Green Bay.  I mentioned to him early on that my going would be sketchy at best, he said not to worry, if I cant go, he has plenty of others who are interested.  Bears Packers- sure there may be a tiny bit of interest.  So Tuesday was my test.  Deanna was with me for the radiation, and I had a follow-up doc apt about 3 hours later.  So since we were zoo members, we went.  I used this as the test if I can do the walking necessary to go to the game.  I failed the test.  Sure I did the walking but I spent the next 1.5 days in bed with pain- and this is while taking the narcotic pain killers.

Tim- meet cancer pain.  This is not a guy you want to meet.  The spot on my knee was the problem.  Here is what cancer pain feels like- (every cancer is different)- imagine being hit in the knee with a hammer really hard, but you didn't feel the impact, you just felt the after effects.  And the after effects lasted hours.  So if any one reading this sees someone who has the same pain, you now know what they are feeling.  I am sure there are heavier pain killers, etc.

The good news is, after bed rest it feels so much better.  I decreased the pain killers in 1/2.  And hopefully can greatly reduce them moving forward when the radiation is done.