More Characters- Monday the fun begins

I go in today for a "practice run" of radiation, and then I go in Monday at noon for 10 sessions.  There are 3 spots that are causing me pain- and this will get rid of those.  Then after that, on to chemo.

So a continuation of the special people I have met- and this part is through work.  After college I had to find some job to pay the bills so in 1989 I started fast food management.  Thank god I am not doing that any more, but...

Browns Chicken and Pasta- 1989-2003- (full time till 1998).  I worked at so many stores, and met so many people. I became close to a bunch of people, but most as a manager associate relationship.  There were happy times there, I ran the busiest store in the company, one of the most respected managers,  and my turnover was really low.  People thought I was a good to work for.  I tried to have fun.  But the one special person who mentored me there was a supervisor, George Rossi.  He told me I was too smart for everything going on at Brown's.  One time we talked at  length, more long term career moves, and he advised me to leave.  I respect that to this day. 

Strategic Financial Advisory.  1998-2003.  Wow- I went from chicken to finances.  Big secret, really didn't know what I was doing when I made the jump.  I went from a kitchen to an office.  And as the time went on, I needed help.  They filed everything, and I had a hard time keeping up with that, and the normal work.  So I was allowed to hire someone to help file.  So here comes this 18 year old girl who threw me a lifeline.  This was part of her work study program, and I got a call from the teacher stating how good Kathy was.  He wasn't kidding.  My boss at Strategic wanted to get rid of her a few times....but she is still there.  She basically runs the place.  She even was given a Rolex to celebrate a work anniversary.  So she can work, but when I needed help, she was there.  Many instances, from one time I was a couple hundred short on my mortgage, she leant me money for a few days.  For a while I couldn't drive to work, and Kathy, and her friend made sure I got there for over 3 months.  Kathy is a special person, and we still keep in touch. 

I still have a few jobs to go, but I think its nice to highlight my life's cast of characters. 

Cast of Characters

I went out to dinner last night with someone who I would call a very good person.  Wonderful dinner, much appreciated.  And this had me thinking, I am very lucky to have these people in my life, who care, who are friends. 

This blog is mainly to communicate on how I am doing, and what roadblocks I am coming up against.  But I am in a holding pattern right now, waiting for the radiation to start, and pretty much feeling better every day, doing more every day, that there is not much news on that front.  Do I feel good- no.  Am I feeling better every day, yes.  In a few posts I am going to highlight some of the people who have come into my life, and who have been important to me.  Lets start with people I met at work.

Elms Snack Shop- Elmhurst.  I worked there from 14 years old, to a freshman in college.  The family who owned it helped mold who I am today.  Ted and Mary Flessor were the couple who owned it, and Tom was there son who I became good friends with.  I learned my work ethic from them, Tom made sure I went to my share of sporting events.  I was in high school, so did I get in trouble at times, sure.  Did my dad dislike the family- sure- that's what dads do.  I remember one time when I was at a Blackhawks play off game.  The game went into overtime, then double overtime.  It was so much fun, and it was a school night, so it was even better.  I must have come home after 1AM and my dad was convinced I was up to no good with Tom.  I kept explaining the game went late.  I couldn't prove it, and the next morning my dad apologized.   What a special family, and I am lucky they were there when I needed them.  I do need to stop by there house to say hello.

Scarlett Tavern, Western Illinois University.  I worked there for 3 years in college.  In my second year down there, (I think), there was this girl who just got hired.  This one kind of amused me.  I did things like throw ice at the bug zapper to see the roaches fall out, I am sure she joined me, but not sure at this time.  Something about her caught my eye.  So my buddy asked me why I was working.  My response was because she wouldn't go out with me.  Well, she did- and 29 years later, she is painting her toe nails upstairs, (she just got done with mine.......wouldn't that be a trick).   We have been through lots.  She has seen me with breathing tubes for days, brain surgery, 3 cancers, and she still hasn't smothered me with a pillow.  At some point Deanna will have enough, find a pool boy named Hector, move away and raise rabbits.  So I better behave, and leave Hector out of the equation. 

Those are only 2 jobs, I have more, but that I will leave for another day.

Ok- I am passing along something received in an email.

No- I didn't come up with this myself, but it hits home.   Happy Sunday!

SURPRISE!!!

Imagine that you had won the following prize in a contest:  Each morning, your bank would deposit $86,400 in your personal account.  But this prize has rules:  Everything that you don’t spend each day will be taken away from you.  You must spend it all, and the bank can end the game at any time by closing the account.

​What would you do?  You would probably buy everything you wanted, right?  Not only for yourself but for all the people you care about, even for people you didn’t know, because how could you spend it all on yourself, right?  You would try to spend every penny because then you knew it would be replenished in the morning right?

​Actually, this game is real!  And each of us is already a winner of this prize but we just can’t see it.  Why?  The prize is Time!  Each morning, we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift from life, and when we go to sleep at night, what we haven’t used up that day is forever lost, and yesterday is forever gone.  Each morning, the account is refilled, but your account can be dissolved at any time without warning! … So, what will you do with your 86,400 seconds, which are worth so much more than the same amount in dollars?

​Think about – be happy, love deeply and enjoy every second, because time races by much quicker than you think.  Here’s wishing you a wonderful and beautiful day.  Start “spending!”

Could have been worse?

Every cancer is different.  Each person is different.  If you ask many people they would say I was quite different....but that being said.

I have had cancer in the bone for over 5 years.  That's where prostate cancer likes to travel, set up shop, and build there community.  And when it starts building the shopping malls, swimming pools, and transportation hubs, the person is in a deep load of trouble.  I knew of a couple spots and I knew they weren't really getting better since the last treatment didn't do anything, and scans showed disease progression.  I told my doc, I really need to focus on enjoying life and not concentrating on how extensive the bone stuff was.  I have seen pics of people with it all over there bodies and spine, and skulls.  I know that's the direction I guess, but I put it out of my mind.  I saw my pic at the radiation oncologist, and I had 6 spots that could be seen.  They are going to zap 3 of them.  The concerning one is in the hip which is weight bearing.  Don't want that to break.  And I expressed to the doc since we are doing the hip- lets go after a couple more.  Its 10 sessions, over a 2 week period of time.  He agreed.  I like the guy.

At the beginning of the appointment with the radiation guy, since Loyola is a teaching hospital, the resident came in.  He asked me if I knew why I was there.  (inside voice- what kind of stupid question is that), but I went with my outside voice and said, I want to become a chick, I will be a really ugly one, but that is still my goal.  He stopped......looked at me, and then I answered him for real.  I think the answer shook him up some.  And he actually went to tell the doc- hey I got the best answer to......

I titled this could have been worse....because nothing on this is good news......  I got the last PSA back, and the rise is slowing down for some reason.  I am not being treated and the rise was like a rocket ship going to the moon.  So imagine a big spike up- and then a right turn on a graph.  So the progression is slowing down, even without treatment.  And hopefully when treatment starts we see good results.  My guess is the elimination of stress of working is helping a great deal. 

So Monday I go for imaging, so they can set up where to zap me.  Then 2 weeks of zapping, and chemo begins.  I guess its better than the alternative.

You just have to laugh

Since the chemo really didn't work or do anything I have not been treated for the prostate cancer since June 30.  If you are scoring at home that's a long time.  One delay was trying to take biopsy's of
my lymph node and see what kind of cancer it really was.  Then one delay was me having my heart filled with fluid.  Then on Tue I am thinking I will finally be treated- 2nd round chemo.

Well no.....  One job I had- (it will be a miracle for me to be back there) was preparing taxes at HR Block.  I have a large number of clients, and you get to know who they are and what they have.  They give you papers to give you more clues of what they have been up to this year.  And finally at the end I may get someone mentioning something important as we finish.  Ahhhhhh!  I tell them its a partnership, we both are in it together, and anything at all they need to mention.  I take this attitude with seeing my docs.

With my doc at Loyola she was ready to send me to chemo, and I asked her about the upcoming radiation, what to expect.  This plan was over a month ago prior to me having my heart do its thing.  She looked at the notes, fully understood, and said the chemo would have to wait.  They cant give the 2 together, it could give a skin reaction.  I asked, get rid of wrinkles, and make me look beautiful?  She said no- laughed and called me a good person. 

So we see the radiation guy today.  It will be a short course (10 sessions?)  And then the chemo can start.  I am grateful for the support around me and I cant imagine anyone putting up with this stuff by themselves.

Meet Samantha

This is a dog we adopted in July.  She was from the Naperville Humane Society.  At the time Deanna and I were both working and had a couple hours to look for a dog.  Went to Naperville, saw crazy dog after crazy dog.  And as we were about to leave, one cage had the dog in the outside run- we called for it, it was Sam, and we thought, lets take her for a walk. 

As we did, very well behaved, good manners, and Deanna said lets stop and talk.  We sat on the grass, and Sam put her head on Deannas leg.  That did it.  I have been accused of only going to one place to buy a car, a dog too?  We hit the jackpot.  The dog is 8 years old, (i think), and acts like a puppy.  Never a mess in the house, and loves to go out for walks.  She is Deannas dog- very attentive.  She knows I am home, but Oh my god when Deanna comes home, Pow- things snap, the planets align, the world is ok again.  I put her in the car to pick up Deanna from work- the dog hugged her in the car. 

I have been kind of zapped, and have been taking a break from walking her, but this week- i will try to resume.  It will be good for me.

So- so you want a 9 month old pit bull puppy, or an 8 year old dog.  Consider adopting an older dog. 

Its Saturday- I think, or a better title, Tim sings Swami River....

Well I know- but the not working thing makes that a question that I have to figure out sometimes.....

I am feeling better every day- getting my life back.  After laying in a bed for 10 days you cant immediately start running around.  So I have been taking the baby steps, and Thursday I think I overdid it- I was sore on Friday.  But I need to get my legs back.  Other than that- sleeping is better, not great.....but shoot....I can take a nap!!!!  Now reflections from the hospital.....

I just looked and Loyola is nationally ranked, (3rd in Chicago, around 50 in US) for cancer care.  So I am in a good place.  My 10 days that I was a "resident" of the ranked hospital, 85% of my care was wonderful.....but then the following.

• I was stuck in the ER overnight they didn't have a room for me.  The Loyola ER is not a good place to be.  Way too much activity to sleep, and not a comfortable place to be. 
• Numerous times they would arrive to take me to this test or that test- and I had no idea I was getting the test in the first place.  I made sure they stopped, fully explained, so I can understand what was going on with me. 
• At the same time that they were trying to figure out if they put me in an ICU room, or regular, they took me for one test downstairs later at night.  Its quiet down there.  Test was good, and the lady administering the test said, we are done, I don't have towels to wipe you up (ultrasound), and transport will come along shortly.  Ok.....I wiped up with my gown, and waited.  They had one clock in the room so I knew when the test was over.  And I waited.  30 minutes later after not being checked on and the room was dark- couldn't hear anything around, I started to make strange noises.  It amused me.  See if I could get anyone's attention.  Nope.  Then around the 40 minute mark I belted out Swami River really loud.  I cant sing that well, and boy that was code red down there.  I had immediate attention, and was transported shortly after that. 
• The food- they have "room service".  So I can have whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.  Sounds good, but toward the end I was trying to get as much things that are prepackaged, they cant ruin....I didn't know anyone can ruin eggs.  I had lots of fruit plates.  But I did lose weight in there. 

Here is a tip for anyone, speak your mind- if something isn't right, ask for it to be improved.  Temperature of the room, the bed, (yes, the last 5 days I had a special air bed).  Being in there is hell- so don't be afraid to ask for things to make your visit better.

And one hit for nursing staffs.  If I have tubes down my throat to help me breathe, but I am awake, and you need me to slow down my breathing....don't keep yelling at me slow down my breathing.  When the first yell didn't work- stop, regroup, and help the patient through it.  Have to admit- it was the first time in that situation.  If she calmly explained what was going on, I could have figured out what I am supposed to do.

This was a long post.  Congratulations to anyone finishing this one.

Whats next

Wow- I started October in a horrible way.  I am not home a week, the sleep is better, but the Tim before freaked out because I was up at 4am, since I had to work.  The Tim now- shoot I can just take a nap later on during the day.  That's an adjustment for sure. 

I start 2nd line chemo next Tuesday so at least something is being done to help the prostate cancer again.  The vast majority benefit from this therapy,  and lets hope I am in this club.  My doc think this is the best way and the right time.  This chemo I guess is easier than the last one so good!.  I will start radiation next week too to shrink some spots.  So time to enjoy before I get beat up again next Tuesday.  Here's hoping that this will be an easy stretch. 

I was at the doc yesterday and weighed in and I am 30 pounds less than I was since June 30.  Thats  good for me, and will help in other ways.  And most importantly it is explained weight loss.  The food at Loyola was horrible.....they had a menu, on it was an omelet.  Why not, how can they screw up an omelet.  Whatever they fried it in had such a stench that the dish looked good, but wow!!!  The next day Deanna brought me in a Wendy's Chicken Sandwich, and I am not crazy, it was just bad food. 

My mind is getting better.  I am doing more normal things.  Deanna and I saw a movie Monday.  I didn't know how I would do, and its apparent, time to start living life again. 

Ok- what will I do on my time off- at some point toll house cookies are going to come into play.  People go on an alcoholic bender- (cant do that anymore), so I am going to go on a chocolate cookie bender.  Hopefully not to the point that Deanna finds me in a corner, foaming at the mouth.  Then I guess I will have to find a 12 step program for tollhouse.

Happy Day

When is it time to say goodbye to dad?

A question we all face,  Dad was the general....we don't want him to go.  I was with Dad as a roommate in icu. It sounded as dad had much of what I had.  He needed things with the heart and he  was being treated for prostate cancer.  Dad has plenty of family and the Loyola staff gathered everyone together prior to 2 different procedures.  No doubt to say goodbye if he didn't make it.  Dad wasn't resoponsive that day.  I know the procedures are hard and I am 30 years younger.  I moved out of ICU before I knew what happened to dad...I wish nothing but the best for dad.

At what point do you stop?

I am home

3 surgeries, 4 different rooms, I trip to the ICU.  That's enough.

Surgeries heart 2, first one is to drain heart of fluid, I had an extra Gatorade bottle in there....they hoped that will solve.  It didn't.  Then they cut a flap in there so it can drain within my body... That seems to have worked...but time will certainly tell.

Ok what is the other surgery.....they played around with my lymph nodes to better understand the characteristics of the cancer.  That one was easy but to go to surgery again....ouch.

Its sunday morning and I believe they fixed what was broken.  The biggest side effect for the prosate cancer treatment are cardiac events.  Now that I have had mine...hopefully I am done for a while.  My attitude is good I can't move around a lot but hopefully that improves.

still in hospital...catch up time

Forgive punctuation and spelling.  I am on my friends tablet.

Prior to the indy trip I has the attitude if I dont feel well.  Blame it on the chemotherapy.   I was certainly slowing down.  But how hard could it be...deanna drives.

Weekend was ok...rested for concert and when I got up lots of pain around the chest area.  Confident it wasnt a heart attack we went in. I sat fot most of it but stood for some...it was a fun show.  Layed around hotel room until we left mon.  I con the acted my doc mon morn.

Appt with doc tue morn...on the way out I was to get a ct scan.  Well at that time they found fluid around the heart so my doc sent me to the er.  And I have been at loyola ever since....I have surgery today to help the paracardium drain on its own.  That is the key to leaving.

7 days in the hospital is tourture.  The most important thing is I am feeling better,  this all should do what it should...

I will try to update if needed while I am still here.  If no upates no news is good news...

Short post

I may be able to come home tomorrow.   Will type lots more tomorrow if that happens

This may be in parts.....

First many thanks to buddy scott for the last update.

Yup I am at loyola and they are trying to fix me.  I had one heck of a crisis sat and that ended me here.  I can already tell that I will feel better when I get out of here.

I am pretty dumb.  I am watching the movie ghost..Watch a movie about death in the cancer floor of the hospital.   Nice job tim....I am pretty dumb.

Here is another update.  Went to see the concert.
Well not feeling so well.  Breathing was difficult.
I went to the hospital yesterday.  There is fluid around the
heart and lungs.  Doctors are trying to find the cause. More information tomorrow.