Oh ****
Posted Sep 4, 2014 8:06am
I haven't posted for a while, no news is good news? Hmmmm. Lets see. Today I am done with my 4th round of chemo, but my PSA went from 32 to 75. That shouldn't be happening. I have been responding to everything, and I fully expected to respond to this. My body was telling me I should respond to this. (there is a time while on chemo that the body just tells you ick, that lasts a couple of days.
This last cycle had some complications. One week after the last cycle, my buddy Scott decided what it would be like to visit the ICU. He is ok now- this congestive heart failure thing is not a good hobby to have. He needs to change things, will be on medication for quite some time. A wake up to see him on a ventilator. My guess is that I saw him during a time when I was at my lowest, post chemo treatment, and I got sick. So I played the Tim- lets have a fever game. On Friday within 2 hours it went from 100.1 to 103.5. With that- on to the ER. Nothing bacterial, so I spent a few days in bed and I kicked that one.
My diet is spot on thanks to some angels in Florida helping me with Seattle Sutton. I am a vegetarian....at least that's the food I am eating. It is the best thing for prostate cancer.
Where do we go from here, I get a repeat PSA in 2 weeks, repeat imaging in 2.5 weeks, and plan b in 3 weeks. Either 2nd line chemo or some other oral hormonal drugs that have been recently approved. I will keep this updated. What was weird, I was feeling really good....
Oh ****.
This last cycle had some complications. One week after the last cycle, my buddy Scott decided what it would be like to visit the ICU. He is ok now- this congestive heart failure thing is not a good hobby to have. He needs to change things, will be on medication for quite some time. A wake up to see him on a ventilator. My guess is that I saw him during a time when I was at my lowest, post chemo treatment, and I got sick. So I played the Tim- lets have a fever game. On Friday within 2 hours it went from 100.1 to 103.5. With that- on to the ER. Nothing bacterial, so I spent a few days in bed and I kicked that one.
My diet is spot on thanks to some angels in Florida helping me with Seattle Sutton. I am a vegetarian....at least that's the food I am eating. It is the best thing for prostate cancer.
Where do we go from here, I get a repeat PSA in 2 weeks, repeat imaging in 2.5 weeks, and plan b in 3 weeks. Either 2nd line chemo or some other oral hormonal drugs that have been recently approved. I will keep this updated. What was weird, I was feeling really good....
Oh ****.
90 Seconds
Posted Aug 8, 2014 6:51am
Ok- what can you do in 90 seconds. When I grew up mine and brother Jims room was a disaster. And we had to clean the darn thing. Who knew, a clean room. I have experienced it plenty later on in life but not so much early. So how do we tackle that one. So we played the game, 90 seconds. Each of us took turns and tore around the room and cleaned up, while the other counted to 90. Darn you can get lots done in 90 seconds. I sometimes think of that when I am avoiding something at work. 90 seconds later the darn thing is started.
Why mention this on this forum? For the last 5 years, I have been not wasting my time, not getting involved with nonsense. I read early on the advice, what does it really matter if you are right about something. People argure about the stupidest things. At work I was recently involved with a couple things that were clear nonsense. The tires were spinning on the car, but we were not getting any where. And people wanted to argure their point. If you ever see me at work when someone wants to do that with me- i run the heck away. Its not worth it. And then I go back to my desk, think if they only spent 90 seconds they would get the thing that they argued about done, or at least they would get their room clean.
Happy day.
Why mention this on this forum? For the last 5 years, I have been not wasting my time, not getting involved with nonsense. I read early on the advice, what does it really matter if you are right about something. People argure about the stupidest things. At work I was recently involved with a couple things that were clear nonsense. The tires were spinning on the car, but we were not getting any where. And people wanted to argure their point. If you ever see me at work when someone wants to do that with me- i run the heck away. Its not worth it. And then I go back to my desk, think if they only spent 90 seconds they would get the thing that they argued about done, or at least they would get their room clean.
Happy day.
What goes into someones mind
Posted Aug 5, 2014 8:36am
Here is what the guy feels when he knows what he has is incurable. Fine- they are giving me things to help, but at the end of the day this thing is going to get me. I still have options, sure. But I am closer to the end of the road not the beginning. I am at the 5 year point from cancer that has spread, not bad.
So to address what goes on in my head. We are having layoffs at work- the work is being shipped to Guatemala. I am very interested in the time frame. I am good for 3 years at least. Cool- that's probably enough. I wont have to try to find other work.
This summer is going to come to a close. I remember my mother looking at our garden and said this is something I am going to miss. She was taking it all in. She was gone a few months later. So is this my last summer, probably not from what I have read. But I am still appreciating things as if it was.
People mean well, they do. It isn't a good thing to talk about, and it reminds them of their own demise. I have heard lots of things from keeping a good attitude, look at alternatives, that I will live a long life but with lots of drugs,and people are praying which I appreciate. The crazy thing is how can a person I see every day who looks normal be in this much hot water. Well, that's my life now. Sure, there are many drugs coming out, things that can help, more treatments to try, but this thing is going to be with me.
So what is going through the guys mind. Have fun today, enjoy life, and in back of my mind, I wonder when everything is going to go to heck.
So to address what goes on in my head. We are having layoffs at work- the work is being shipped to Guatemala. I am very interested in the time frame. I am good for 3 years at least. Cool- that's probably enough. I wont have to try to find other work.
This summer is going to come to a close. I remember my mother looking at our garden and said this is something I am going to miss. She was taking it all in. She was gone a few months later. So is this my last summer, probably not from what I have read. But I am still appreciating things as if it was.
People mean well, they do. It isn't a good thing to talk about, and it reminds them of their own demise. I have heard lots of things from keeping a good attitude, look at alternatives, that I will live a long life but with lots of drugs,and people are praying which I appreciate. The crazy thing is how can a person I see every day who looks normal be in this much hot water. Well, that's my life now. Sure, there are many drugs coming out, things that can help, more treatments to try, but this thing is going to be with me.
So what is going through the guys mind. Have fun today, enjoy life, and in back of my mind, I wonder when everything is going to go to heck.
Saturday the week of round 2
Posted Jul 26, 2014 12:05pm
I feel pretty, oh so pretty, so pretty....ok- not so much......
I figured out how this is going to go for me, first couple days not bad, so strung out on steroids, I feel like 100 bucks. Not a million, a hundred. Then no more steroids, ****, that's a come down. And there is pain in my "spots" that lasts a couple of days, and then time to recover for another round a couple weeks later. That's enough of the depressing stuff. Better stuff ahead
I figured out how this is going to go for me, first couple days not bad, so strung out on steroids, I feel like 100 bucks. Not a million, a hundred. Then no more steroids, ****, that's a come down. And there is pain in my "spots" that lasts a couple of days, and then time to recover for another round a couple weeks later. That's enough of the depressing stuff. Better stuff ahead
So where am I at
Posted Jul 24, 2014 7:14am
Home on the computer- of course. Ok- where am I really at- Done with the 2nd round, it beats you up. This is probably the first time I am mentioning this number PSA- 30. That is the score card. If the PSA gets to 10,000, Tim is sleeping. It has been as low as 0.05 and as high as 52. With Loyola they don't let me stray long before they go to the next thing. For that I am grateful. The doubling time of my stuff since I am a young guy is quick, so without the extra medicine, if the chemo wasn't working, I would really be feeling it some days. And I am not. While I am not feeling outstanding, there are days which are totally normal, and I feel actually a little better.
For now I provided shared this with very few people. Thanks Summer for the comments. And I know some people, probably even Deanna got frustrated trying to get on, they gave up. So for now this thing is mainly for me. At some point I will expand this. But for now, if you are reading, thanks.
For now I provided shared this with very few people. Thanks Summer for the comments. And I know some people, probably even Deanna got frustrated trying to get on, they gave up. So for now this thing is mainly for me. At some point I will expand this. But for now, if you are reading, thanks.
2nd Round in the Books
Posted Jul 22, 2014 5:44am
****- thats not a good place to be. And to look around that room knowing that everyone in there is in trouble. A few may be looking at cures, good for them! A few is the last shot at a losing battle of an agressive cancer, and a few (me) is a pallative attempt to knock this thing on its toes for a while and keep it at bay. When my cancer is awake, its aggressive as hell, so lets knock it down and keep it sleeping. Mine is resting in bone. Ribs, pelvis, and shoulder....probably other places, but not too many. Some get it in the skull- thats nasty. Its 4:40 in the morning, they give you steroids, so **** I am awake. But they do give you stuff not to throw up and make you sleep. The pharmacist knows my name.
The hair is gone. Tim- its been gone for years.....ok the rest of it. I was shedding like a cat, so Deanna know shaves 3 animials, me, Lisas pussy, and our pussy Marcus. Deanna has never set me a picture of her shaving Lisas pussy, but at least Lisa buys her drinks.
Thats it for now. Chemo sucks....but I guess the 2014 version is a whole lot better than the nonsense my dad had to do in 1988.
The hair is gone. Tim- its been gone for years.....ok the rest of it. I was shedding like a cat, so Deanna know shaves 3 animials, me, Lisas pussy, and our pussy Marcus. Deanna has never set me a picture of her shaving Lisas pussy, but at least Lisa buys her drinks.
Thats it for now. Chemo sucks....but I guess the 2014 version is a whole lot better than the nonsense my dad had to do in 1988.
7000 Calories Later
Posted Jul 18, 2014 7:00am
Ok- with this stuff- you don't eat as much- so I am going to fit into my skinny jeans by summer or wear some daisy dukes. Ewwwww. Now that would be a site. I will go again for round 2 on Monday, and they will smile at me and offer me a sandwich. When I was there the first time I am thinking, cool- (Jimmy Johns, Subway, at least the quality of 7-11), and they happily brought me 1/2 of a ham sandwich, wonder bread- no condiments, and a piece of hospital ham. What else can fill your time, so down went the hospital ham. Prior to the end of the 3 week cycle, my appetite is better and we sat on the Aurellios patio with my friend Joe. It was a buffet and you can eat what you want. So me being a 5 year old, I selected on one trip up 3 pieces of pizza and a chocolate chip cookie. I enjoyed the weather, brother Jim and Deanna were there as well. They left the cookies for later. So my daisy duke friend Joe- 3 plates, must be north of 7000 calories. The guy must have a chambered stomach. He must save the stuff for later in one of the chambers.... not to say anything bad, I guess we are both built differently. Then I wondered how Joe would have done with the hospital ham. Why do I call him daisy duke Joe- he wore shorts for a while until friends of his had enough and I think they burned them.
Best if used by
Posted Jul 15, 2014 6:05am
Yes the mind does go there. Its an expiration date. On my I-pass it says 2022, and immediately I thought **** that thing will still be working long after me. Then I look at the darn salad from Wal-Mart that I am going to take for lunch today, it expired 7/14. So I guess I am better off that a salad but not as good as my I Pass.
People have different expiration dates. I have come to grips with that. I guess mine is sooner than others. So here is what that gives me. Each and every day I appreciate things that I have, the people I have in my life, and the experiences that I have. Who knows if this thing is going to give me 5 more months or 5 more years. I am just grateful that the doctor gave me the PSA test that was not warranted for someone at my age. That is why I am 5 years down the road on this thing. If I didn't go to that doctor, for my physical, (not my main guy), I am sure it would have spread more, and I probably wouldn't be here.
So while I am here, time to have as much fun as I can, and appreciate the life that I have.
People have different expiration dates. I have come to grips with that. I guess mine is sooner than others. So here is what that gives me. Each and every day I appreciate things that I have, the people I have in my life, and the experiences that I have. Who knows if this thing is going to give me 5 more months or 5 more years. I am just grateful that the doctor gave me the PSA test that was not warranted for someone at my age. That is why I am 5 years down the road on this thing. If I didn't go to that doctor, for my physical, (not my main guy), I am sure it would have spread more, and I probably wouldn't be here.
So while I am here, time to have as much fun as I can, and appreciate the life that I have.
That was easy?
Posted Jul 2, 2014 8:31pm
Hmmm. See what the body does. Not bad...but god bless the pharmaceutical companies. Appetite has dropped. Who needs weight watchers.
The initial side effect is fatigue... But that's what coffee is for. I was told by my boss today to eat an apple...coffee inst good for you. Nice thought but let's live it up. I am thinking meth.
See ya.
The initial side effect is fatigue... But that's what coffee is for. I was told by my boss today to eat an apple...coffee inst good for you. Nice thought but let's live it up. I am thinking meth.
See ya.
Chemo tomorrow
Posted Jun 29, 2014 7:33pm
On the first day of Chemo my true love gave to me- a beer. Lets see if she can sneak that one in.
On the second day of Chemo my true love gave to me- by then we should have a dog- we are going to name it Kameer. I really want to confuse the thing. Come here Kameer. Lets see how that goes.
Chemo is one day on- 20 days off just as long as my blood cooperates. I have had chemo drugs before but at this point I graduated to the heavy stuff.
On the third day of chemo my true love gave to me- thats a good question. By then my hair will be gone, (all of it), and I will either gain weight or loose weight, be normal or be fatigued, be constipated, or have the runs..... So my guess is that Deanna will be a drunkerd, so if I log a cry for help- please come help her.....she is the one that will need help- having to put up with me going through this crap.
I am going to work through it, that was upon advice from my doc. But we will see how that goes as well.
Thats all. Lets see how often I post on here. It may be a good diary to tell the doc when I see her, but if there is crap going on, it saves anyone from informing everyone, so please check here first.
Happy Day.
On the second day of Chemo my true love gave to me- by then we should have a dog- we are going to name it Kameer. I really want to confuse the thing. Come here Kameer. Lets see how that goes.
Chemo is one day on- 20 days off just as long as my blood cooperates. I have had chemo drugs before but at this point I graduated to the heavy stuff.
On the third day of chemo my true love gave to me- thats a good question. By then my hair will be gone, (all of it), and I will either gain weight or loose weight, be normal or be fatigued, be constipated, or have the runs..... So my guess is that Deanna will be a drunkerd, so if I log a cry for help- please come help her.....she is the one that will need help- having to put up with me going through this crap.
I am going to work through it, that was upon advice from my doc. But we will see how that goes as well.
Thats all. Lets see how often I post on here. It may be a good diary to tell the doc when I see her, but if there is crap going on, it saves anyone from informing everyone, so please check here first.
Happy Day.
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